Well, allow me the pleasure to introduce you to one Jayden Meghoma, a lad born on the 28th of June 2006, stitching together a mediocre patchwork of a footballing career in the somewhat less desirable part of Scotland. Rest assured, he's never worn the Green and White, which might just be something of a silver lining for those of us faithful to the Celtic way.
The young Englishman presently resides at the back of Rangers' line-up, where he attempts to ply his trade as a left back -- but more on that later. He stands at a towering 5ft 8in (1.75 metres, in sensible measurements) as per the updated records, with a weight of around 11st 2lb (71 kilograms, if you like your weights in a modern, understandable format). Not quite a mountain in football terms, but neither is he a molehill.
Meghoma is often spotted attempting to guard the Ibrox turf in a number 30 jersey. Whether or not he does it successfully is subject to individual opinion. His exploits have earned him a recorded current market value of around £1.5m, a revelation that has been brought to light by the good folks at Transfermarkt.
His career began with a slight flourish, when he joined the Saints of Southampton in September 2022. After paddling about in the English Championship, Meghoma was shipped over to Brentford in the Premier League, a move that reportedly cost an eye-watering fee of £5m. He made vast contributions to the Brentford cause with a majestic one first-team appearance in the 2024 - 2025 season. Some might say, he barely broke a sweat.
Come January 2025, Meghoma was off again, loaned to the fellows at Preston North End. It was a mildly significant chapter in his fledgeling career, where he donned the white jersey 12 times in league matches in the same season.
Not too long after, the lad returned to Brentford after his spell at Preston North End. He continued to assert his inconspicuous presence with another single league appearance. By August 2025, Greg the postman had seen more action at the post office than Meghoma on the pitch.
Alas, his uninspiring journey thus far brought him North of the border, to where the Rangers roam. His current season report card details 23 league appearances and one goal, a tally that would send shockwaves through the Scottish Championship, surely (you'll forgive me the sarcasm).
Despite his lightly inked resume, young Meghoma bagged himself quite a handful of cup ties. Incomplete, as expected, this motley assortment includes two starts in the League Cup, one start in the Scottish Cup, two Champions League Qualifiers, and a generous heap of Europa League engagements. We await with bated breath his next epic voyage, preferably somewhere far from the Paradise.
