Youssef Chermiti, a wean brought into the world on the 24th of May in the year 2004—that makes him 21, if your maths is up to snuff. Born in Portugal, he now spends his days banging in goals - or at least tries to - as a forward for the Rangers. He is a man of considerable stature, standing at 6ft 3in (or for our metric friends, 1.92m) tall and weighting in at 13st 3lb (a paltry 84 kg). He sports the number 9 jersey, the coveted position for any self-respecting striker. Apparently, someone somewhere (and they've probably got glasses and bad hair) values Chermiti at around £5.5m; you can check their dodgy math for yourself here.
Back in July 2016, Chermiti traded his training shoes to become an actual, real-life football player at Sporting CP in the Liga Portugal. They even let the lad play actual matches, with him managing three goals from 16 appearances in his debut season of 2022-2023. Seems respectable, I suppose.
The tugboat carrying Chermiti then set sail for the greener (or so they say) pastures of Everton in the English Premier League, reportedly for a fee around £11m—in August 2023. His debut season saw him prance around the pitch for 18 league matches. His second season, the lad donned his kit for four outings - must have been saving his energy for a rainy day, I imagine.
Fast forward to September 2025. Chermiti embarks on his Celtic journey (or perhaps, misadventure?), travelling north to join the ranks of Rangers in Scotland. This trip reportedly cost the pockets of the Rangers' bosses a cool £8m. Currently, in the 2025-2026 season, Chermiti has made 16 appearances and managed to get his boot to the ball and into the back of the net four times—or so the record suggests. Clever chap, also managed to appear in the League Cup 2025-2026 and even the Europa League 2025-2026 with various starts and substitutions. Must have confused the manager enough, I reckon.
