Permit me to introduce you to Rangers, sprouted up freshly in the verdant football landscapes of 2012. Currently strewn on the plains of Scotland's Ibrox Stadium, they waltz cumbersomely around the hallowed turf that they call 'home'. Quite a novelty, isn't it?
One would think a bunch of athletic lads would be content to merely hoof a sphere around, unattached to any fiscal considerations. Alas, that's not to be. The financial soothsayers at Transfermarkt have valiantly undertaken the task of assigning a market value to these lads, pegging them collectively at around £102m. How they do it, I'm sure I can't fathom. It must be quite something having such a staggering endorsement of your weekly kickabouts.
The lively band of 29 chaps entertaining hordes of optimistic spectators at Ibrox have an average age of 24 hovering over them. That's youthful vigour for you, probably not burdened by existential dread or contemplating the futility of existence mid-match.
Now, here's where it gets interesting. This season, our sporting heroes have stretched their sinewy limbs in five different competitions. The Premiership has been graced with their presence, currently they're making a respectable show of themselves in 3rd place. Not quite king of the hill, but let's not be ungenerous. Next, the haunted echoes of the League Cup semi-finals reverberate around them, clearly a noble effort. Squint a little, and you'll see them gallantly striding towards the Quarter-Finals of the Scottish Cup. Hurrah and three cheers, you might say. But hold on, there's more. The illustrious Champions League turns out to be a bit of a tease, with qualifiers merely whetting their appetite. Finally, it would appear they've managed to scrape a berth in the Europa League's league phase with, I have no doubt, the full panoply of their finesse on display.
In conclusion, football does have its nuances, it appears, with our strapping heroes being quite the embodiment of the same. Now, wouldn't you be eager to see what other sporting theatrics they unfold?
